I Choose To
by ficamaze
Summary: Through one fluke or another, Jack and Daniel meet for the first time while in Sydney, Australia. They discover the sights, sounds, and wonder of the beautiful city in winter time, but that might not be all they find during their stay. (Lover's Death) (Retconned & Rebooted)
1. Silence

NOTES: Hello, hello! In case you followed this story, you will see a major change in the plot: the place, of course. Long story short, my husband and I were supposed to go to Europe (and thus have actual inspiration for this piece), but given some medical circumstances, that will take a back seat. Obviously, I'm not very comfortable with the idea of writing about something I do not know at all, so here I am changing the destination to Sydney, Australia – still one of my favorite places in the world, and at least something I can honestly talk about for days end.

But as with the previous version, please do note that the story's focal point remains to be the lovely something we would like very much for Jack and Danny to ship. Some specific venues (aka names of apartments/hostels) are made up.

The title of the series is "I Choose To", and is based on a painfully beautiful poem by Jalaluddin Mevlana Rumi. Five lines, five chapters – hence that means ending each chapter with one line. It should act as an anchor of sorts for the story, but let's see how it goes, seeing that these well-laid plans usually take on a life of their own.

I start off with the usual disclaimers:

You know the drill – for feedback, leave a comment (or two or three) or email me directly at ficamaze .

This is primarily a Lover's Death (aka Jack/Daniel) story. I do not own anyone (i.e., characters, etc) or anything (i.e., lines, scenes, concepts, etc) from the Now You See Me series.

Absolutely no copyright infringement intended.

 **I CHOOSE TO**

Part 1: Silence

 **June 4, 2017**

The weather was perfect – it was dry, and very cool. His apartment, some twenty minutes away by train, was quaint and cozy enough, his host family a bright bundle of cheer and love. The people were beautiful, and certainly polite enough: there were no curious gazes as to why a twenty-something man was walking to one of – if not the – most well-known landmarks at ten-thirty in the evening.

He didn't know what he expected to find in this pretty city, but he had gone anyway to appease everyone back home, to get away from the curious gazes and to – in Dr. Mitchell's words – "take the first healing steps to getting better", whatever that was supposed to mean.

Daniel Atlas had to admit the view was pretty magical, the closer his feet took him to the legendary Opera House. The entire edifice was quietly lit up, and he oddly enough found its gentle lighting nicely offset the excited murmurs of the city and its occupants. It was beautiful, he had to give it that much credit.

And yet, as he leaned against the low wall some distance from the structure, he still wasn't sure what he expected to find in this bustling and beautiful city. He stood there for minutes, hours, just gazing up at the structure and wondering where he was supposed to start with this whole process. He was pretty sure that his parents would want results from all the psychiatric sessions he had with Dr. Mitchell, and this whole solo trip to help himself get over—he shook his head. Daniel didn't want to go there, not yet. Some small part of him knew he had to come to grips with what happened, and it had to be soon. But the rest of him rebelled against that small, reasonable nature, and it terrified him.

It terrified him that he knew exactly what he had to find, but he was too smart to believe he would find it here.

He had taken the bus and was walking back to the apartment almost an hour later, trying to snap the thoughts out from his head, when a brown-haired man sidled up next to him, having seemed to jog to catch up with him. Daniel instantly tensed – he had read about some ploys in just about any tourist destination – as he turned to the man almost defensively.

"Hey, hey, sorry, I didn't mean to startle you," the man said apologetically, putting up his hands in a gesture of surrender, and Daniel found himself relaxing slightly. The man before him seemed to be an American tourist as well, his large knapsack and casual attire reminding Daniel of his own when he arrived less than a day ago. "You seemed to… I just wanted to know if you knew where Taranto Road is?"

"I… yes, I do. I'm headed there," Daniel answered in clipped tones.

The stranger's brown eyes brightened. He smiled as though Daniel had given him a Christmas present early, and clapped his hands once. "Oh, that's great, man!" he said happily. "D'you… d'you mind if I walk with you?" he continued, almost hesitantly, as he tried to gauge Daniel's reaction.

That quietly persistent instinct that usually told him to make smart decisions – in this case, say no – seemed to be awfully quiet as Daniel surveyed the rest of the stranger. They were about the same height and lanky build, but the similarities ended there. His companion's brown hair and brown eyes starkly contrasted his own ash blonde hair and blue eyes, and he thought that the stranger's skin was a strange shade of olive, colorful compared to his own pale shade. He found himself nodding mutely as the stranger broke into a smile, dimples creasing his strange face, and Daniel found himself wondering if the stranger was a beautiful one. He couldn't seem to decide just yet.

"How far away are we?" the brown-haired man asked a couple of minutes into their silent pace.

"Seven to ten minutes, maybe," Daniel responded.

"Well, since we're walking together for couple of minutes at least—" the stranger held out a hand for Daniel to shake. "I'm Jack. Jack Wilder."

Daniel glanced at the outstretched hand for a split second before giving his companion a tight-lipped smile and shaking it. "Daniel Atlas."

"It's good to meet you, Danny," Jack said cheerfully.

Daniel was about to correct Jack, but the other man was looking at him with such an earnest smile that he found himself saying instead, "You're not about to con me and steal my wallet, are you?" He grimaced at how roughly he had blurted the question. "Oh, I… sorry."

Jack, however, seemed to find it funny, laughing quietly for some moments and shaking his head. "Don't worry about it, man. I mean, strange city, weird and overly friendly stranger who just happens to be headed in your direction – it's textbook conman," he acknowledges with a smile as he reached into his pocket, pulling out a pocketbook and flashing what Daniel saw was his passport. "But no, I'm perfectly safe, as you can see. Just another tourist in the prettiest city in the world." Jack fake-swooned at the last statement, causing Daniel to smile slightly.

"All right, all right," Daniel acquiesced. "I had to make sure."

"How long are you here for, Danny?"

Daniel shrugged. "Five days. And you?"

"Same here," Jack responded enthusiastically. "Have you done much sightseeing already?"

"I just got here less than a day ago, so no," Daniel said. "But I… I did see the Opera House from afar. That's where I came from when you saw me."

"Oh," Jack said, his gaze softening as he looked to the distance. "How did you like it?"

Daniel was tempted to act cool about it, pass it off as just another sight to see, but somehow, he couldn't lie to this stranger – not about this. "It's… it's something else," he said quietly. "Like something outside of someone's perfect imagination – which, I suppose, it was."

Jack looked at him, and Daniel felt his cheeks burn – he wondered at that moment where those words came from, and why he had chosen to blurt out something that reeked of sentimentality to someone he met barely ten minutes ago. Far from poking fun at what he said, though, Jack nodded seriously, his smile extremely gentle this time. "I can't wait to see it myself. I've heard it has that kind of effect on you."

Daniel nodded mutely, unsure what else to say, finding some relief as he gestured to a small brick building a few meters away. "That's me. This is Taranto Road."

Jack's eyes widened slightly as he checked his phone. "Oh, no way, we got the same host?"

"Did we?" Daniel asked, something in him fluttering nervously.

"Number 11?" When Daniel nodded mutely, Jack broke into a wonderful smile, as though this was the best thing to happen to him. "Then yes, we totally did!"

The next minute closing the distance between themselves and their apartment was spent in silence, but Daniel wondered why it wasn't as heavy as the silences he was used to. It seemed quite light, and – if he dared think – companionable and pleasant. He shook his head – of all the places to think that silence with a stranger could be nice, he scoffed at himself. Joy, their host, was surprisingly still awake ("I was working on Chrissie's reviewers anyway, and oh, it's nice to meet you, Jack!"), and excused herself for a few minutes before she showed Jack to his room.

"Anyway, I'll just—" Daniel gestured towards the direction of his own room while Jack waited for Joy to return.

"Oh," Jack said dumbly, something in his brown eyes dimming slightly – or was that just Daniel's imagination? "Well… thanks, man, for taking me here."

Something large and awkward hung between them as Daniel nodded stiffly, unsure of what to say. "No problem," he said tersely. He looked around once, as though his environment could give him an answer to a question he wasn't even sure of. "Well… you enjoy Sydney. I suppose I'll see you around."

Jack nodded, a half-smile on his face. "I will. You too."

Daniel nodded, shifting his weight on his left foot, before smiling one final time and turning his back on Jack. He took several quiet breaths, telling himself to calm down, wondering what it was that bothered him all the way down the hall in front of his room. He had just turned the doorknob to let himself when he heard his name being called out from the other end of the hallway.

"Danny!"

He let out a breath he didn't know he was holding, and turned to look back at Jack, who was striding towards him hurriedly. He quirked an eyebrow, willing himself to play it cool. "Yeah?" he asked.

"If you… if you were okay to have a temporary travel buddy for the next three days, I was wondering if you'd like to go around the city together. We'd cover a lot more then," Jack offered hopefully.

Daniel smiled coolly. "You sure you don't just need someone to take photos of you in the landmarks?"

"You found me out," Jack deadpanned. "That is, in fact, my whole reason for asking you around. I need someone to take some shots of my gorgeous self admiring the view."

 **June 5, 2017**

Daniel was surprised that he said yes to Jack's offer the night before. What surprised him even more, however, was how good a companion Jack turned out to be – he had spent the whole morning and most of the afternoon with the brown-haired man without feeling the need to break away or to even strangle him, something that he thought wasn't naturally him. People perplexed him most of the time – irritated him, even – and he was wondering if this was just the positive side of the whole vacation.

"Sorry?" Daniel asked, snapping out of his slight reverie, realizing too late that Jack was talking.

Jack mock-pouted, his phone in hand. "I can't believe you just missed my commentary on how this—" he gestured to an unassuming and small building next to them, "—became the first hospital in this lovely city."

"Aren't you the history buff," Daniel said flatly. "Tell me again, what's the name of this building?"

"Well, anyway, moving on to the next attraction," Jack parried, narrowing his eyes at Daniel. "You better make sure you're paying close attention to me next time."

Despite himself, he felt a smile come on to his face. Since when did he appreciate the more idiotic things in life, Daniel thought to himself as he rolled his eyes in response. "You know what, we're doing the free tours tomorrow. I think we've done enough winging for today," he said in what he hoped was a teasing tone.

The whole day was spent flitting from one site to another, taking in the beauty of each stop and (Jack) occasionally sharing little tidbits of information that he would Google on the spot, seeing as neither of them seemed to come to appreciate the history of it all. They had finally decided to stop for a late lunch close to their apartment, choosing a relatively empty burger joint and seating themselves next to the window.

Once they've placed their respective orders and seated themselves, Daniel was about to open his phone when he noticed Jack ostensibly switch off and pocket his own. He raised his eyebrows at his companion. "That's something new," he commented as he followed suit.

"Hey, I'm in Sydney with a fellow tourist I met in the apartment we both checked in to. I'm not about to spend the time I have on Facebook, Tweeting, Instagramming, or whatever," Jack said easily.

"You forgot Snapping," Daniel said instantly.

"Aren't you the little social media bunny!" the brown-haired man countered playfully.

Daniel grimaced. "Uh, no. Bad mental image."

"Maybe for you," Jack chuckled as he took a sip from his coffee. "I think it's hilarious."

"Shut up," Daniel rebuked, but there was no spite in his voice. "Well, we kept our phones, the one thing in a ten-mile radius that we could have used to avoid talking face-to-face about real things… what's up?" he asked, some part of him curious.

Jack shrugged. "I don't know, man, there's no manual for this," he joked. "Let's start with the basic question: what brings you here, Danny?"

Daniel flinched, wondering why the simplest question had to be the most difficult one to answer. He opened his mouth, wondering where to start, but finding himself closing it after a few failed attempts.

"No, shit, sorry about that, we don't have those questions, then," Jack quickly backpedaled apologetically. "I just—"

Jack fell silent as Daniel shook his head and cleared his throat. "No, I… sorry, I just didn't know how to start. The beginning isn't that… simple," he explained lamely. Jack said nothing, waiting for Daniel to find his bearings and the words that seemed to evade him. They stayed that way for a few minutes, then Daniel nodded to himself and continued. "I guess I'll start with the end. I… I lost my best friend three months ago."

 _Red hair in the dim light seemed to shine nonetheless, and she was dancing like there was no tomorrow, laughing as she looked at him, her green eyes emerald in the evening._

"What happened?" Jack prompted.

"Accident," Daniel said, his voice tight, his eyes burning.

 _The world was spinning around, one slow turn after the other. He couldn't move, but he knew he was awake, and he saw her eyes, the beautiful green eyes, dimming as the lights faded into nothing._

"I'm sorry," the brown-haired man said quietly, putting a hand on his shoulder.

Daniel shook his head, quickly closing his eyes and giving Jack a pained smile as he opened them. "No, it's… it's fine. She…" he trailed off, realizing there was not a lot that he could say about Henley ( _but that's not true, Atlas, you know it, there's a million and five things you can say about Henley – she was beautiful and kind and infuriating and mad and perfect—_ ).

"She wanted to come here," Daniel finished lamely, wondering in his mind if it was at all true.

"Would she have liked it here?" Jack asked earnestly.

Jack's question caught him off-guard – he was ready for some standard 'she would have liked it here', and he was ready for the savage internal monologue he was about to have about how Jack didn't know Henley, and how Jack could have possibly said what he did. But it was a question, one that he asked Daniel to answer for him if he wanted to, and he realized that – somehow – Jack Wilder was a touch different from the standards of sympathy.

"Depends on what we would have done," Daniel responded, and he felt something in him lighten up as he came to a realization. "Hen would have liked to go somewhere wild – she was a bit of a nature girl. Anything with water – beaches, rivers, waterfalls… she'd much be on a cliff overlooking the ocean than having burgers in a commercial place."

Jack smiled with him, squeezing Daniel's shoulder once before letting go. "That sounds like great fun," he acknowledged, and – again – Daniel noted how Jack didn't give commentary on the little he knew about Henley. He mulled over it for the next quiet minutes, and he found that he appreciated it.

Without warning, a few silent tears spilled out of his eyes, tears that he swore bore the acrid sting and smell of being held back for too long. There was only a slow beat that kept him from completing falling apart – perhaps it was the pounding of his eardrums, or the beating of his pulse. No one seemed to notice him, but Daniel realized as he looked around, unseeing, that he didn't actually care. For the first time, color seemed so much sharper, and his senses seemed to be on overdrive – the warm and comforting smell of burgers tickled his nose, the sound of laughter called out to him, and the perfect weather seemed to caress every pore of his skin. The world seemed to disappear around him, and he was surprised that he still saw – quite clearly – the companion next to him.

He looked at Jack, who had carefully turned to observe the surroundings with great interest. Jack's hands were tapping a steady rhythm of the table, and Daniel realized two things: Jack had never once reached out to give him a comforting gesture, and that the rhythm his companion was tapping out was the beat that kept him company as he lost himself for a short while just moments before. It gave Daniel a good feeling he couldn't quite put his finger on: it by no means erased that gap inside, but it was a start. A spectacular start, in fact.

"Is that your idea of fun as well? Nature?" Daniel asked lightly, bringing the conversation back to the present, to which Jack gracefully helped keep it there for the next few hours.

For the first time in months, Daniel thought how beautiful the lack of silence was in the next few hours with his companion.

 _I choose to love you in silence, for in silence I find no rejection._


	2. Loneliness

NOTES: Hey there! In case you missed the note, this series has been retconned/rebooted to change the setting of the story (from Europe to the lovely Sydney, Australia). The reason being, Europe has taken a back seat for my husband and I due to medical reasons, and I really don't want to write about something I don't know yet. Sydney, however, holds a special place in my little mind and heart, because this is where we had our honeymoon last year, so rest assured, I have quite a lot of good memories and experiences to share with our boys.

It's Day 2 of 5 for our boys in Sydney. They're finally taking that walking tour after the previous day of attempting to "wing it", and – surprise – one of them pulled out the stops for a well-planned day with a new friend.

I start off with the usual disclaimers:

You know the drill – for feedback, leave a comment (or two or three) or email me directly at ficamaze .

This is primarily a Lover's Death (aka Jack/Daniel) story. I do not own anyone (i.e., characters, etc) or anything (i.e., lines, scenes, concepts, etc) from the Now You See Me series.

The story is based on a poem by Jalaluddin Mevlana Rumi, each line of which serves as a sort of anchor to the chapter/story.

All in all, absolutely no copyright infringement intended.

 **I CHOOSE TO**

Part 2: Loneliness

 **June 6, 2017**

They had a bit of time to kill as they waited for the tour group to fill out. There was a light drizzle today, and coupled with the already-cold weather, Daniel couldn't help but feel like he was right at home. Unfortunately, it looked like he couldn't say the same for Jack, who was practically curling up inside his jacket, shivering lightly. They were seated on a stone bench in front of St. Andrew's Cathedral, their tour guide rounding people up a few meters away.

"Oreos?" Jack offered, holding out a half-eaten pack to Daniel.

"No thanks," Daniel declined, frowning at his companion. "Are you okay?"

Jack nodded. "Don't worry about me. I just get like this when it's cold and it's raining."

"You sure you up for this?"

The brown-haired man nodded adamantly. "Dead sure," he said earnestly. He looked past Daniel's shoulder and started to stand up. "In fact, I think we're up. The group's moving."

The tour was set to run for around two to three hours, but Daniel didn't mind. They walked through buildings of beautiful external architecture and interior design, novelty sights like the talking dog of the queen, and unique art installations, but he could not for the life of him, remember any of the facts that the guide shared with them. In fact, he found that he barely listened to the tour guide, though she was certainly knowledgeable and very enthusiastic despite the dampening drizzle. He was content to follow, for once – to not have to lead anyone anywhere.

It was to Jack's credit that he once again proved himself to be a good travel companion: he silently took photos with an actual camera that Daniel didn't realize was slung around his neck, taking in the sights each place had to offer. He snuck a peek over Jack's shoulder as he reviewed the photos – to Daniel's surprise, Jack had taken a number of photos of people in their tour group, and they were the most beautiful shots of them all. He saw the face of a little Asian girl in mid-laugh as the talking dog conversed with them, the bubbly and enthusiastic energy of the tour guide practically radiating off the screen, the stolen shot of an elderly couple in the group, looking at each other like they were the most beautiful sights they were seeing in the tour.

"Oh," Daniel said dumbly, unable to stop himself.

Jack gave a start as he realized Daniel's presence over his shoulder, and he grinned sheepishly. "Now you must think I really am a stalker."

"With a very good eye, apparently," Daniel quipped. "Jack, your photos are…" He shook his head. "I can't even say."

The faintest blush colored Jack's cheeks. "For the great Daniel Atlas to say that? I'm touched," Jack deadpanned.

Daniel broke into a grin. "Well, it's from the heart."

Jack looked at him with dark eyes and an impish grin. "I didn't say where I was touched," he said deviously.

"Gross," Daniel muttered half-heartedly as they followed the crowd out, Jack continuing to take candid photos of the surroundings and people.

When they reached the outdoors and stopped in front of a large park, Daniel's mind went blank.

Katie, the tour guide, broke into a grin as she took in the crowd's reaction. "Welcome to Hyde Park, everyone!"

Hyde Park was – without a doubt – beautiful. It was simple in its totality, and yet the air was charged with a special something that Daniel could not quite put his finger on. For the first time during the tour, he was walking very slowly, as though he wanted to savor each step he took in the park. He observed the perfect landscape, the massive structure across the street, the joy of its visitors, the overall bustle of activity balanced out with the quiet serenity – Daniel thought to himself that this would probably be Henley's idea of heaven.

His heart hammered as he realized how relevant his thought was at the moment.

He felt a gentle squeeze on his shoulder, and something warm on his face as well. He heard a familiar sound, and it was getting louder, and louder, and louder, bringing him back to reality, and he realized it was the sound of Jack's voice that was calling out to him. Daniel also realized that it was Jack's left hand on his shoulder, gently keeping him on a bench with its firm grasp, and it was a handkerchief – Jack's, based on the smell of it – on his cheeks, wiping off something.

"I'm sorry," Daniel said automatically as he snapped back to his senses abruptly. He looked around quickly. "Where are the rest of the group?"

"Hey, it's cool," Jack said carefully. "I sent them on ahead, I told them we'd try to catch up if you wanted to."

Heat filled Daniel's face. "Did I…?"

Jack shook his head. "Don't worry, Danny. I told them we'd hang back just because we wanted to. None of them saw anything."

Daniel gulped, meeting Jack's gentle gaze, feeling his defenses crumbling to dust once more. "Thanks, Jack," he said in a voice a little above a whisper. Without thinking, he felt his hand coming up to the side of Jack's neck, stroking the bare skin there lightly. There was a slight hitch to Jack's breathing, and Jack leaned slightly into his touch as Daniel looked at the face of his new friend, who had proven himself to be something that he never thought he would come close to finding again. He daren't say it, he wasn't a big believer in superstition, but just for this, Daniel thought he'd listen to any and all superstitions just to make sure he wouldn't jinx whatever he had right now.

He wasn't sure how long they stayed there, but when Jack shifted slightly in his position, something was broken. Daniel drew his hand back carefully, and Jack stood up, clearing his throat, smiling at Daniel casually. "It's cool, man," Jack said easily as he took a seat next to Daniel, leaving a few inches between them. Daniel swallowed something bitter in his mouth, not knowing what to say next.

"You know," Jack started, "I don't really feel like finishing the tour with the group. How about you and I take it from here?"

Daniel smiled at him. "Winging it again?"

Jack grinned. "Not really. I know for a fact that basically the only big thing we're missing in the list is the Opera House up close and personal, and anyway, I have… well, I have something planned for the afternoon."

Daniel felt something in him sink as he forced a smile. "Meeting up with someone?"

His companion frowned, uncomprehending at first, but one look at Daniel, and he realized his mistake. "Oh, no! No, I'm not meeting anyone, Danny. What I meant was… well, I had something planned for you and I this afternoon. Just a small thank you for allowing me to be your annoying travel companion for this trip."

"Oh, did you now?" Daniel said cheekily, but he felt lighter than he did in a long time.

Jack groaned. "Don't make me regret this, Atlas," he said half-jokingly. "I'm not a very good planner to begin with, so I had to check a bunch of websites for help with this."

Daniel stood up and grinned down at Jack's confused face. "Well, let's not keep the afternoon waiting, shall we?"

They caught the train heading to Circular Quay, and this time, the air was filled with the light conversation they had started the day before – perhaps it was the absence of the crowd that allowed them again to talk, and just be Jack and Daniel again, and not two tourists in a tour group. Seeing as neither of them were that hungry, they bought a plate of fish and chips to share from a nearby stall before they started their short walk to the Opera House.

The quay was bustling and lively – families, couples, and friends were taking photos of their surroundings and of each other, and musicians every few meters were serenading the crowd with their talents, and some of them had an open guitar case with a few CDs and bills inside. There was one guitarist especially that made Jack stop in his tracks, and while his companion listened to the music, Daniel dropped a ten-dollar bill in the musician's open case and took one of his CDs. He handed it to Jack, who looked about ready to protest, with a sharp, "No, this is a non-negotiable thank you from me this time, Jack."

Jack smiled at him – really smiled, not cheekily grinning as he usually did. "Thanks, Danny."

They got as close as possible to the Opera House for Jack to take photos of the structure from the right angle, and Danny had to admit that while seeing the place up close was rewarding, there was still something more beautiful about admiring the structure from afar. He supposes it was the perspective of the whole view that added to the beauty of it, but looking at his wide-eyed friend, he thought it was beyond him to question such masterpieces.

"Hey, uh, let me take your picture," Daniel blurted out.

Jack looked up suddenly, his eyes hopeful. "What?"

"Come on, I mean, I'm no expert photographer," Daniel said. "But you've been behind the camera since we started. I should take your photo. Otherwise, how can you prove you didn't just rip off your photographs from the internet?" he ended teasingly.

"Aww, damn, that'll be great, Danny," Jack said happily as he took out his camera. "Here, let me teach you, it's just on point-and-shoot mode anyway."

Before Daniel could protest and vouch for his ability to handle a camera, Jack had already stepped behind him, putting the camera at eye-level with him, arms around Daniel, but without touching. "See, you just… half-press this button until you get the focus on the subject," Jack said softly, his breath tickling Daniel's ear. "Then click all the way. Here, you try."

Daniel took the camera from Jack without a word and watched as Jack's hand still guided his as they repeated the steps Jack just showed him. It occurred to Daniel just how close they were, and how if Jack had not been wearing gloves, their hands would be touching now. He briefly wondered what Jack's hands felt like – were they soft, rough, weather-worn, or fine like silk? Were they cold or warm to the touch? Did he have a light touch, or a heavy and strong one? But as Jack stepped back and moved into his desired position in front of the Opera House, Daniel forced himself to banish such thoughts from his mind.

He peered into the lens, capturing just the right angle, just as Jack had shown him. He wasn't prepared, however, for what he saw: Jack smiling beautifully at him, his hair a shade lighter as the rays of the sun hit him. Through the lens, Daniel fully appreciated exactly how golden Jack's skin was, even in the slightly gloomy weather, and how his eyes sparkled like twin stars in the darkest night. Daniel gulped and caught his breath as he said, "Okay… one, two, three…"

When he was done, Jack took the camera back and reviewed Daniel's shots. He said nothing, and Daniel felt a flutter of worry. "Are they that bad? We can try again if you like—"

"No," Jack cut off. "They're perfect. Thanks, Danny." He looked up at Danny with a smile on his face. "You about ready for the… little thing I planned for the afternoon?"

It turned out that Jack had booked a cruise ride for the pair of them, circling the harbor for an hour over afternoon drinks. As luck would have it, the only other joiners for the trip were a group of older men and women who paid them no mind, so they were invited to spend some time on the upper, more premium deck.

A server was waiting for them on deck with a glass of champagne ready, which Daniel carefully took. He quirked an eyebrow at Jack, who was biting back a smile. "This is… something else," he deadpanned.

"Isn't it?" Jack said innocently, taking a champagne glass for himself and walking to the other side of the boat, which had started to move away from the deck.

Daniel followed Jack impishly, barely noting that they were the only ones on deck. "If I didn't know better, Wilder, I'd say you pulled out all the stops for this one," he said in a lower voice.

His brown-haired friend chuckled, slightly nervously it seemed. "Don't think too much of it, Atlas, we got an upgrade," Jack said cockily, though his voice was slightly higher pitched than usual.

Daniel shrugged with a small smile, looking out at the bridge and view before him. "If you say so," he said flatly.

"Mmm," Jack muttered in response.

Daniel had – at that moment – closed his eyes and just took greedy breaths of the fresh, sea air into his lungs. He found it strange and beautiful that he never felt this alive, even considering everything that happened in the last months. The memory of losing Henley was painful, one that even this moment could not quite erase or alleviate, but it seemed to have sharpened in its beauty and comfort in this exact moment. For the first time in what seemed like his entire life, he was _himself_ , and actually happy to be so, and a grounding realization brought his thoughts to the one place he would most like to be in, at least for the next days.

"Danny," Jack whispered quietly next to him, his voice grounding and beautiful. He felt gloved hands on his own, the pressure of Jack's touch tentative and soft. He kept his eyes closed, not wanting to miss a beat, and he felt the corner of his lips turn up slightly as he hung on to Jack's words. "You are—"

Whatever it was that Jack was going to say drowned out in a sea of loud laughter, and he felt his hands suddenly light and empty as the weight of other hands quickly disappeared. With a sinking feeling, Daniel realized that they were no longer alone, and that crowd had gone up to join them on the upper deck. He opened his eyes, which were disoriented by the sudden influx of light, and he looked around for his companion – Jack had impressively moved some feet away from him, eyes behind the camera, taking pretend shots perhaps.

Daniel bit back a bitter laugh as he moved away from his companion, the painful sting of rejection and shame washing over him in thick, bleeding waves. Really, what did he expect?

"No, you don't, Danny," Jack's voice hissed from behind him as he followed Daniel to the lower deck.

"I don't _what_ , exactly?" Daniel snapped in a voice dripping with venom.

"You don't get to walk away with your martyred assumptions of what just happened," was the retort.

"Nothing happened," he growled.

"Of course it didn't, I didn't want to presume you wanted something to happen when a bunch of older people barged in without a care in the world!"

Daniel stilled, Jack's words striking a chord. He looked up at the man next to him, and he hoped that he did not betray the hope that was bubbling up in him. "What do you…" he trailed off, unsure how to ask the question.

Jack shook his head indulgently, a smile on his face. "I can explain to you exactly what I mean, but I think it's better for me to show you, eh?" he asked gently, tentatively putting his hands again on Daniel's. When Daniel said nothing, he cleared his throat. "I mean, that is… if this is okay with—mmph—"

For the second time in the cruise, Jack Wilder was unceremoniously interrupted, but he found that he didn't mind this second interruption, because this time, the warm and delicious lips of Daniel Atlas covered his own, rendering him speechless. There was a certain kind of frenzy in the kiss for the first few seconds, as though they were drowning, and their only source of air was the other – Daniel let out an obscene moan that vibrated through his throat as Jack shoved him roughly against the wall of the cabin, pinning his arms on either side of him, making movement impossible. Dark hair was pulled by long fingers, and teeth were nibbling on the pale and exposed neck, until finally – eventually – it subsided into something more comfortable, and more affectionate.

As Jack Wilder brought him closer to him, pressing his lips against his temple, then his cheek, then his fingers, Daniel Atlas thought that maybe – just maybe – he was happy, even for just a short moment.

"Danny, you—"

A finger was pressed to his lips. Daniel shook his head quietly. "Jack, just don't—"

"You're amazing," Jack confessed. "And I don't know how to do without amazing in my life, anymore."

In that moment, there were a thousand and one words that Daniel wanted to say to Jack: that Jack was even more amazing than he was, that no one and nothing could even begin to compare, that he wondered how he felt he knew someone better in two days than he had known people in ten years, that he stood a chance of being happy whenever Jack was around. He wanted to say that he probably could not and would not find anything quite like what he felt right now if he searched the whole damn world for it, and that he didn't want any of it to end, and that he wanted so badly to believe in fairy tales, that this would not all just fizzle out like flash paper on fire…

There were a thousand and one words he wanted to say to Jack, but in one single gulp, he held it all back. Instead, Daniel put a hand on Jack's face, and Jack instantly leaned again into Daniel's touch. He was in awe of this man, this infuriatingly perfect man before him, and he wished he could commit that kind of perfection to memory forever.

Daniel swore, up and down, that he would, because that's all he knew he could promise anyone at the moment.

 _ **I choose to love you in loneliness, for in loneliness no one owns you but me.**_


	3. Distance

NOTES: I had to get things moving for the boys, but I do feel that they need to linger in the perfection of that day. This chapter will deal with the immediate aftermath of the previous chapter, maybe setting up some conflicts for the next chapter (hint hint), but as I'm charging into this with no clear plan yet, things can possibly change. At one point, I will be asking the question that matters: in the end, should they or shouldn't they?

I start off with the usual disclaimers:

You know the drill – for feedback, leave a comment (or two or three) or email me directly at ficamaze .

This is primarily a Lover's Death (aka Jack/Daniel) story. I do not own anyone (i.e., characters, etc) or anything (i.e., lines, scenes, concepts, etc) from the Now You See Me series.

The story is based on a poem by Jalaluddin Mevlana Rumi, each line of which serves as a sort of anchor to the chapter/story.

All in all, absolutely no copyright infringement intended.

 **I CHOOSE TO**

Part 3: Distance

 **June 6, 2017**

They spent the rest of the short cruise in silence. At one point, one of them had offered his hand, and the other had quickly taken it, and they stayed that way for the rest of the way.

As they prepared to step off the boat, Daniel noticed that his hands were still entwined with Jack's, and he shot a tentatively questioning glance at his companion. Jack's dark eyes narrowed, and he shook his head firmly, as though saying, _no, we don't have time to let go_.

So Daniel didn't.

The quay seemed to have even more people than there were when they boarded the cruise ship. It was getting dark fairly quickly, and Daniel suddenly remembered something from his first night.

"Lights," he said.

"Hmm?" Jack asked absently.

"They have the lights festival this June, I just remembered."

Jack smiled. "All the more reason to stay, then." He looked over Daniel's shoulder, and stepped back suddenly, much to Daniel's disappointment. "Hey, do me a favor, and stand over there, please?"

Daniel looked at the empty spot Jack asked him to occupy, and he instantly realized why. He let out a mock sigh. "Is this really necessary? I don't do well with pictures."

"I would be the first to disagree with that statement, but you know, please, just… for me?" Jack asked sweetly. "You won't even know I'm taking your photo."

"That's ninety-nine kinds of creepy, but okay," Daniel acquiesced as he walked to the spot Jack had indicated. "What am I supposed to be doing while you are-or-are-not taking my photo?"

"Well, talking helps," Jack volunteered. "I can get you started. The first time I saw you was magical."

Daniel rolled his eyes, suppressing a smile. "Magical? Like, card trick magical or Disney princess magical?"

"What are you calling 'princess', princess?" his companion teased, moving around Daniel furtively. Daniel heard vague shutter clicks from where Jack was moving but found that he didn't seem to mind as much as he did.

Boldly, he looked at Jack straight through the camera lens. "The first time I saw you, I thought you were going to be a creeper ripping fellow tourists off," Daniel deadpanned.

A chuckle came from behind the camera. "Aren't I?"

Daniel shrugged, still looking at the camera impishly. "That remains to be seen."

"I should be so honored, then," Jack drawled lazily, taking a few more photos before standing straight to review his collection. Daniel resisted the urge to look over Jack's shoulder, instead contentedly analyzing and observing the softly delighted look on his friend's face. Jack looked up at him, grinning. "You've been holding out on me, Atlas. You sure you don't want to see your perfection in all its glory?"

Before Daniel could answer, a friendly-looking woman in her mid-thirties and towing a small stroller approached them with a smile. "You gents don't want to miss this view together," she said affectionately. "Would you like me to take your picture?"

"Yes, please, we would appreciate that," Jack said with a smile, handing her his camera phone and quickly moved to Daniel, leaving a few inches of space between them.

The woman peered into the camera screen, frowning slightly. "Come on, you can do better than that. Closer, you two."

This time, it was Jack who looked at Daniel, a silent question hanging in the air. Daniel gave him a small smile and gently pulled the other man closer to him, holding him by the waist. He noted how brilliant Jack's smile was as the distance between them disappeared, and he felt Jack's arm snaking around his shoulders comfortingly.

"That's gorgeous, you two," the woman said kindly, clicking away. "Okay, I'll take one with the count now. One, two…"

After they thanked the kind stranger profusely, Jack stowed away his camera phone, not bothering to take a look at the photos. Daniel cleared his throat. "Hey, uh… you're sending those photos to me too, yeah?"

Jack frowned thoughtfully. "I'll think about it. It depends how nice you are to me."

"Dick," Daniel bit back playfully.

"That's a resounding no, then – oww! Hey, give that back!" Jack protested as Daniel nimbly poked him on the side and snatched the camera phone from him.

"Come get it, then, Wilder," Daniel challenged before breaking into a sprint, leaving behind the protests of one Jack Wilder behind him. He wove in and out of the crowds carefully, making sure he didn't hit anyone, and he heard Jack's voice behind him, gaining on him as they moved out of the crowds altogether. Seconds later, they found themselves in an isolated block of empty stalls and far less people, none of whom were paying them much attention. As he slowed his pace, he felt arms circling his body, trapping him and making movement near-impossible.

He was about to congratulate Jack for catching him, but as he turned to face Jack, warm lips quickly pressed against his own. Slightly breathless, Jack grinned triumphantly. "Gotcha."

They leaned side-by-side against a nearby brick wall, opening the camera phone to view the photos. Each shot was perfect, even the candid ones – the lady had captured every moment preparing for the shot, and Daniel was surprised to see that the unprepared shots seemed to be even more beautiful than the very last one. They silently transferred the photos to Daniel's phone for a few minutes, but as usual, it was a comfortable silence until Daniel broke it with a question.

"What do we do, Jack?"

There was a beat of silence before Jack responded. "I've been thinking about that, too. I guess the question is, what do we want?" He looked hopefully at Daniel, as though he had the answers prepared.

"I don't know," Daniel admitted quietly. "And it terrifies me."

There was a flash of disappointment in Jack's face, and though he quickly masked it with a casual expression, Daniel caught it. He bristled at the thought of it. "You're disappointed," he observed.

Jack shook his head. "That's not the right word for it, but it's fine, Danny. We don't need to worry—"

"What is it with you people who don't need to worry?" Daniel snapped, his head throbbing a familiar and painful pulse _("We don't need to worry, Danny, you've got this, and we'll be fine!")._ "There must be so comforting in not having to worry about anything, does it?"

Jack flinched. "Hey, where did that come from—" he started pacifyingly, reaching out to Daniel, who immediately stepped back.

"Here you people are, not worrying about a damn thing in the world, leaving everyone else to worry about things for them," Daniel rambled angrily, a familiar and cheerful voice ringing in his head _("Stop being such a worrywart, Atlas, nothing's going to happen to us, not when you're leading!")_. "How nice it is for you people to step back from responsibility and want to just do things WHEN YOU WANT TO DO THEM!"

The last words came out as a roar, and some people had turned to look at the pair curiously, but Daniel found that he didn't care about the curious eyes of bystanders. The only pair of eyes that mattered at the moment was looking at him disbelievingly, angrily, and sadly, all at the same time. For a long while, there was only silence, and this time it was an uncomfortable one. Daniel felt himself tense up, already sure that Jack was going to take a swing at him, and by all the high lords, he knew he deserved every bit of it – anything for failing him, for failing Henley…

"Daniel," Jack started carefully, and Daniel noted the shift in the name he used. "Look, if this is about Henley—"

"Don't—"

"Shut up," Jack said commandingly, almost dangerously, and Daniel found himself complying with the order. "If this is about Henley, there are shitloads of things you can do to help you with whatever issues you have, but I don't know what will work. I honestly don't know you as well as I'd like to, but God damn it, Daniel Atlas, I would very much like to." He took a sharp breath in, taking one step closer to Daniel. "If it means taking you to the mountains right now so you can tell me how much it hurts having lost her, if it means going into an empty warehouse and taking swings at each other, God, Danny, I want to know you."

Daniel took a sharp breath in, and he realized he was one breath away from crying. "You do," he gasped, not wanting to say more, but feeling the need to let out his thoughts. "I don't know why and how, but fuck me, Jack, you do know me."

"Is that so wrong?" was the gentle question.

"Yes," Daniel rasped, tears leaking out of his eyes now. "Yes, it's wrong, because it does not make sense for you to be the person who knows me the most in the world after two fucking days in a foreign country. Yes, it's wrong, because this—" he gesticulated wildly, "—this is flash paper, Jack, and we'll set ourselves on fire and burn out the next second. Yes, it's wrong, because you know me, and maybe I know you, but the fact is I don't even know where you live, I don't know if you have a family, if you have someone waiting for you at home, and I don't know if this is something you want or need, or just something to pass the time with."

Jack had gone horribly still, watching him placidly, his expression unreadable. Daniel, however, felt like a dam had broken in him, and the words just kept flowing, poison seeping from his veins from the very first moment he knew he was done for. "Yes, it's wrong, because I only ever cared for one person, and only one person ever trusted me, and look where that got us, and I can't—I can't go through that with anyone, ever again, and most especially not with you, Jack."

"Danny—" Jack attempted to speak.

"You're more than that, Jack Wilder, and you're worth more than anything I can ever offer you," Daniel continued. "I lead the people I care for to something they're sure I can get them out of, but I can't, not all the time, and I can't risk you. You deserve more than my fear, and my fragments, and my ridiculous _feelings_ and nightmares, or even the whole of me. Because I—I can't possibly measure up to you—"

"Shut up," Jack said for the second time in the conversation, but this time, his tone was more tired, and sadder than he ever heard from his companion by far. He took Daniel's shaking hands in his, and no matter how much Daniel tried to withdraw his hands, Jack's grip remained firm and strong. "You are…" Jack fumbled for words, until he finally settled on one. "Wrong. Yeah, so fucking wrong it makes me want to punch someone."

He squeezed Daniel's hands once. "You say I know you, but you never even bothered to check with me if you know me, and the answer is fucking yes, Daniel Atlas. Or so I thought. Because if you do know me, you wouldn't have given me the crap that you just did. And no, I'm not finished," Jack cut off easily as Daniel started to protest. "We're not in a fairy tale, Danny, so I don't know why it matters to you that I've known you more in two days than most people would in a hundred years. We're not in a fucking porn movie, I hope—" The corners of Daniel's mouth turned up ever so slightly, and he didn't know why. "—so I don't know why you think it's all slash and burn for us, and there's nothing more for us than heated kisses in some dingy alleyway. And…"

Jack hesitated, taking a deep breath, as though to gather the courage to say the next thing. "I'm not Henley. You know that. I'm not her, and I can never hope to be her, because she sounds like quite the woman, and—" he gestured feebly at himself, "—there's a bit of a shortage of woman in here." Daniel chuckled at that, wiping his eyes, wondering how this man could possibly still make him laugh, even if the pain was dully present.

"But I also know she must have been smart and brilliant. So I can only hope to be just as smart and brilliant as her, Danny, because like her, I will follow your lead when you want to lead me to places, but I will also walk with you and take the lead during the times you don't," Jack said gently, putting a hand on Daniel's wet face now, wiping the tear tracks from his face. "So look… we're here in one of the most beautiful lights festivals in the world, in one of the world's most beautiful cities. We have a couple of days here, but… look, at the very least, today isn't done, just yet."

Daniel chuckled quietly. "Are you asking me to wing it again, Jack?"

Jack shook his head. "I'm asking you to enjoy this," he responded. "Can you try, at least?"

Daniel made no promises, but the rest of the evening passed peacefully. Jack had taken to his camera, taking beautiful photos of lights, sights, and people, that he immediately shared with Daniel, as though trying to distract him from his own thoughts. They were walking rather aimlessly, in fact farther and farther from the crowd, and much later, they found themselves back in Hyde Park, which was mercifully near-empty and even more beautiful than he had remembered seeing it just a few hours before.

Had that much time really passed between this morning and now? This morning, Daniel would not have believed that he would have bared his soul and pressed his lips onto a near-stranger's – but if anything was established from today, Jack Wilder was hardly a stranger. He glanced over at Jack, who was looking into the distance with a pensive smile on his face, and Daniel quietly slipped his hand into his companion's, who gave a small start, but immediately squeezed it back, as though not wanting to let go.

"She probably would have liked this," Daniel whispered.

Jack smiled. "Yeah? Which part?"

Daniel shrugged. "Everything. I guess… you and I most of all."

The brown-haired man took him to a bench and sat both of them down, idly watching passersby and the lights from a distance. "Am I to take it that she constantly tried to find someone suitable for her best friend?"

"On the contrary, she was the first to chase off anyone who tried. I would have hated her for it, but I know now that it was supposed to be the ultimate test, to see how much that person wanted to be with me."

"I wish I could have met her, then."

"Why?" Daniel asked, his eyebrow quirking.

"So I could have given her some sort of peace over a job well-done," Jack said earnestly.

Daniel punched him playfully in the arm, shaking his head. He composed his thoughts for a few moments longer before he continued, "It was… we were planning a trip a few towns over, around half a day's drive from home. We were supposed to take turns driving, but we came from a party, and Henley had a few to drink, so she handed over the wheel to me completely. She… she trusted me, and I gave her no reason to not trust me. I didn't drink, or anything… I was usually the responsible one between us," he started carefully.

Jack kept quiet, not wanting to interrupt as Daniel fixed his thoughts. "But I guess it wasn't enough. A truck driver had fallen asleep at the wheel and was heading towards our car, and in our lane, and… I… I panicked. I swerved to avoid it, but Henley got the full blast of it." He gulped down some fresh air as he recalled the incident in spectacularly high-definition.

"Everyone told me it wasn't my fault, that the truck was in the wrong lane, and nothing I could have done could have ended well for anyone. Hen was in intensive care for a few days, and they said even if she woke up, she would never walk again. And towards the end, she just faded. I didn't even get to talk to her – I thought I'd have all the time in the world when she was out, and I refused to believe that she wouldn't make it, because she was a fighter. But she didn't."

"You can't be sure that she didn't fight, you know," Jack said quietly as he put an arm around Daniel.

Daniel sniffed bitterly. "Well, it doesn't matter now, does it? She's gone."

To his credit, Jack said nothing more, just holding Daniel close to him as they observed more people passing them by. To Daniel, they were just a blur of weary, happy, neutral, curious faces that probably should have mattered to him more. He turned his head to take in the sight of the one face that mattered to him, sharp and defined under the cool night sky. Jack caught him staring, and his mouth quirked on one side. "What's with that look, Atlas?"

He shrugged. "Just wondering how in the world I will possibly handle the distance between us after a few days," he said honestly.

"That was… surprisingly un-coy of you, Danny."

Ocean blue eyes met the intense gaze of golden brown eyes, an unspoken note between them. "You know we don't have much time for that, Jack," Daniel whispered.

Jack gave him a sad smile. "That we don't, Atlas."

 _ **I choose to adore you from a distance, for distance will shield me from pain.**_


End file.
